November 11, 1997

The Decision to Die

“Nothing in this world happens by chance.” — Paulo Coelho

A Perfect Life

Veronika is twenty-four years old. She lives in Ljubljana, Slovenia. She has a good job at a library, a loving family, friends. She’s intelligent, pretty, healthy. By all objective measures, her life is perfect.

And she feels absolutely nothing.

Not sadness exactly. Not depression in the clinical sense. Just emptiness. A profound, aching emptiness that no amount of normal life can fill. She wakes up, goes to work, sees friends, goes to bed—and none of it matters. None of it means anything.

She’s tried everything society suggests: therapy, relationships, hobbies, travel. But the emptiness persists. It’s not that life is terrible—it’s that life is boring, predictable, meaningless. The same day repeated endlessly until death.

The Realization

So Veronika makes a decision: if life is this empty, why continue? If every day is the same meaningless cycle, why live through thousands more?

She’s not impulsive about this. She’s thought it through carefully. She’s not mentally ill (or so she believes). She’s just rational. Life doesn’t offer enough meaning to justify the effort of living it. Simple as that.

The decision brings relief. Finally, a choice that feels authentic. Finally, action instead of passivity. She’ll end the emptiness by ending herself.

November 11, 1997

Veronika chooses a Tuesday. Cold, gray November morning in Ljubljana. Nothing special about the date. That’s partly the point—every day is the same, so this day is as good as any.

She takes sleeping pills. Lots of them. Enough to ensure death, not just a cry for help. She’s not seeking attention or hoping to be saved. She genuinely wants to die.

While waiting for the pills to take effect, she starts writing a suicide note to her parents. But partway through, she cancels it. Why? Because while waiting to die, she reads a magazine article.

The Magazine Article

A French magazine article demonstrates profound ignorance about Slovenia. The author confuses it with Slovakia. This small central European nation—Veronika’s homeland—is invisible, unknown, irrelevant to the wider world.

This should be a minor annoyance. Instead, it enrages Veronika. Here she is, dying, and what provokes her final emotion is a stupid magazine article getting her country wrong? This is what matters in her last moments?

The absurdity strikes her. The sheer ridiculousness of caring about this, of feeling hatred for something so trivial, when she’s deliberately ending her life.

But she does care. Intensely. For the first time in months—maybe years—she feels something real. Hatred. Pure, uncomplicated hatred for ignorant journalists and their careless mistakes.

The Wait

The pills are taking effect. Veronika feels herself slipping away. Soon she’ll be unconscious, then dead. The emptiness will end. The meaningless cycle will stop.

As consciousness fades, she reflects: Is this really what she wants? Too late to matter—the pills are in her system, doing their work.

She thinks about her parents. They’ll be devastated. But they’ll recover. People do. Life goes on, meaningless or not, and eventually they’ll accept that their daughter chose death over their version of life.

She thinks about all the things she’ll never do. But this doesn’t sadden her—those things would have been just as empty as everything else. Travel to Paris? Meet someone? Have a career? All just more of the same meaningless cycle dressed in different clothes.

The Last Thought

Veronika’s last conscious thought before darkness takes her is this: Maybe the magazine article was a gift. Maybe feeling that hatred—real, visceral emotion—was life’s way of showing her what she was giving up.

But it’s too late for maybe. The pills have won. Darkness comes.

Veronika believes she’s dying. She’s at peace with it. Better the certainty of death than the unbearable uncertainty of meaningless life.

She’s wrong, of course. She’s not dying. Not yet. Her story is just beginning.

But Veronika doesn’t know this. She closes her eyes, feels her consciousness slip away, and believes she’s done. Finally done with the emptiness, the boredom, the endless meaningless days.

Finally free.

Key Takeaways

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