Check the Ego

“Ego clouds and disrupts everything: the planning process, the ability to take good advice, and the ability to accept constructive criticism.” – Jocko Willink

Ego on the Battlefield

This chapter examines how ego – perhaps the most insidious enemy a leader faces – can undermine even the most capable teams. In the high-stakes environment of Ramadi, where split-second decisions meant the difference between life and death, ego had the potential to be catastrophic.

Clashing with Conventional Forces

Leif Babin describes a situation in Ramadi where tensions escalated between SEAL operators and conventional U.S. Army units. The SEALs, elite special operators with a strong sense of pride in their capabilities, sometimes clashed with Army soldiers who had different tactics, procedures, and cultures. Some SEALs looked down on conventional forces. Some Army personnel resented the SEALs’ perceived arrogance.

During one operation, this friction nearly led to disaster. A SEAL element and an Army unit operating in the same sector had conflicting plans. Rather than coordinating and deferring to the overall mission commander, ego drove both groups to insist on their approach. The lack of coordination created dangerous gaps in coverage and nearly resulted in another friendly fire incident.

Leif had to step in and check the ego of his own SEALs. He reminded them that the mission was bigger than their pride. The Army soldiers were allies, not competitors. The enemy was on the other side of the gun, not in the adjacent building clearing rooms. Once egos were checked, the two units began coordinating effectively and accomplishing far more together than either could alone.

The Principle: Ego Is the Enemy

Ego is the most dangerous quality in a leader because it is so difficult to detect in yourself. Ego tells you that you are always right, that you don’t need advice, that your way is the best way, and that anyone who disagrees is wrong or incompetent. Ego prevents learning, destroys collaboration, and ultimately leads to failure.

How Ego Destroys Leadership

• Ego prevents listening: A leader driven by ego cannot hear feedback, criticism, or alternative ideas because they are too busy defending their own position
• Ego prevents learning: If you believe you already know everything, you stop growing. The most dangerous leaders are those who think they have nothing to learn
• Ego creates blame: An ego-driven leader cannot accept responsibility for failure because admitting failure threatens their self-image
• Ego undermines teamwork: When a leader’s ego is the priority, the mission and the team become secondary. Other team members sense this and disengage
• Ego blinds judgment: The most critical decisions require objective analysis. Ego distorts reality, making leaders see what they want to see rather than what is actually happening

The Ego-Humility Balance

Checking your ego does not mean becoming passive or lacking confidence. The best leaders possess a paradoxical combination of confidence and humility. They are confident in their ability to lead, make decisions, and drive results. But they are humble enough to recognize that they don’t have all the answers, that others may have better ideas, and that they are always capable of improving.

This balance is sometimes called “confident humility.” It allows a leader to:

• Make decisive calls while remaining open to new information
• Take charge while empowering others to contribute
• Hold firm convictions while being willing to change their mind when evidence warrants it

The Internal Ego Check

Questions to Check Your Ego

• Am I making this decision because it’s best for the mission, or because it makes me look good?
• Am I rejecting this idea because it’s flawed, or because I didn’t think of it?
• Am I holding onto this position because the evidence supports it, or because changing my mind feels like losing?
• Am I avoiding this conversation because the timing is wrong, or because I’m afraid of what I’ll hear?
• Am I taking credit for this success, or am I sharing it with the team who made it happen?
• Am I blaming this person because they truly failed, or because accepting responsibility would bruise my ego?

Business Application: The CEO Who Couldn’t Listen

The Struggling Tech Company

Jocko and Leif describe a CEO who had built a successful technology company from scratch. His intelligence and drive had been essential in the early days. But as the company grew, his ego became a liability. He dismissed ideas from his leadership team because he believed he knew better than everyone else. He micromanaged departments, undermining the authority of his vice presidents. He refused to acknowledge when strategies weren’t working because admitting failure felt like personal weakness.

The company’s growth stalled. Top talent began leaving because they felt unvalued and unheard. The board grew concerned. When Echelon Front was brought in, the diagnosis was clear: the CEO’s ego was choking the organization.

The breakthrough came when the CEO was challenged to apply Extreme Ownership to his ego. He realized that his refusal to listen wasn’t strength – it was weakness. His inability to share credit wasn’t confidence – it was insecurity. His micromanagement wasn’t thoroughness – it was a lack of trust born from ego.

Once he began checking his ego – actively soliciting input, giving credit to others, admitting when he was wrong – the entire organization transformed. Innovation returned because people felt safe proposing ideas. Retention improved because people felt valued. Growth resumed because the best ideas, regardless of their source, could now surface and be implemented.

Common Ego Traps in Business

• The founder trap: Founders who built the company believe they must have all the answers. As the company grows, this becomes a fatal flaw
• The expertise trap: Subject matter experts who cannot accept that someone with less experience might have a better idea
• The seniority trap: Senior leaders who dismiss input from junior team members simply because of their position in the hierarchy
• The success trap: Past success convinces leaders they are infallible, making them blind to current problems
• The comparison trap: Competing with peers for status and recognition rather than collaborating for the mission

Ego and Extreme Ownership

Ego and Extreme Ownership are fundamentally incompatible. You cannot take ownership of your failures if your ego will not allow you to admit them. You cannot learn from mistakes if your ego tells you that you don’t make any. You cannot build a high-performing team if your ego demands that you be the star.

The Humble Leader Wins

The most effective leaders in both combat and business share a common trait: they subordinate their personal ego to the mission and the team. They don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. They don’t need credit for every success. They don’t need to win every argument. What they need is for the mission to succeed and for their people to grow. When the leader’s ego is removed from the equation, the team can focus entirely on what matters: accomplishing the mission.

Key Takeaways

• Ego is the most dangerous quality in a leader because it clouds judgment, prevents learning, and destroys teamwork
• The best leaders combine confidence with humility – they are decisive but open to new ideas
• Check your ego by regularly asking whether your decisions serve the mission or your self-image
• Ego and Extreme Ownership cannot coexist – you must choose one or the other
• Past success is one of the greatest threats to ego management; stay humble regardless of your track record
• Creating an environment where ego is checked at the door allows the best ideas to surface regardless of their source